Any clubber worth his or her glowsticks has at leat one story of trying to sneak into a nightclub before he or she was of legal drinking age. Nervously squaring off with a bouncer while clutching a shoddy fake ID in your clammy hands is practically a rite of passage. It seems, however, that kids these days don’t need to wait until they’re 21. New York City is now home to a full-blown roving club night for the elementary school set with the appropriately cutesy name Fuzipop. Targeted for a new generation of “city kids,” says their website, the roving party takes place during daytime hours in venues usually written up in Page Six for their B-list celeb clientelle. According to CNN Money, the hottest six to twelve year-olds are all there, dancing with their parents as “What Does The Fox Say” and “Levels” reverberate through their pint-sized bodies in what is arguably just a way for adults to sip a few drinks and dance to Afrojack under the guise of “parenting.” Glow sticks and juice boxes, together at last.
So what exactly does this brave new world of pre-teen partying look like? Let’s find out.
Toddla T Sound - “Acid”
I am no festival amateur. I’ve staked tents at jam-a-thons like Bonnaroo, Electric Forest and Camp Bisco; I’ve reveled in PLUR at more neon-soaked soirées like Ultra, EDC and HARD. But Coachella has always been my holy grail, with its lavish setting, an endless reserve of gorgeous women with flowers in their hair, and the most legendary headliners in all of the lands.